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Past Article of the Month
Originally Published 07/04/2012
A Double Blow: Coping with Cancer AND Infertility
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Liza was 28 when the shocking news came. What she thought was a benign cyst turned out to be breast cancer. No sooner did she have time to digest this blow, did her doctor address the idea that she think about preserving her fertility from the onslaught of chemotherapy. As Liza quickly learned, going through chemo would most likely destroy her ability to conceive using her own gametes in the future. Lizas relationship with her boyfriend, Alex, was solid they had been dating for over a year but they were not at a place where they were talking about marriage, never mind having children. She knew she wanted kids someday but not for a while. For Liza, the double-blow of being a cancer patient with a high probability of becoming an infertility patient came with little time to think about and make plans for her future. Decisions had to be made quickly, as surgery and chemotherapy were looming. Her doctors were there to make sure she survived, but at what cost to her hopes and dreams of having a baby? Not only was she grieving her health, and feeling betrayed by her body, she was also thrust into dealing with the loss of her reproductive story.
Liza, like so many other women who must deal with a life threatening disease that can affect their future fertility, had several choices to make, without the luxury of time to contemplate them all:
One option was to go through an IVF cycle to have her eggs extracted and then frozen. She could then decide, when she and her partner (whoever that might be in the future) were ready to start a family, to thaw the eggs and have them fertilized with her partners sperm. While there have been numerous advances in egg freezing and thawing, this technique has less success than freezing eggs that are already fertilized, that is, freezing embryos.
Another possibility for Liza, was to go through IVF and fertilize her eggs using either Alexs sperm or an unknown sperm donor. Although Alex was very supportive and willing to help her, many questions emerged: Did he feel forced into this? What if they broke up? What were the legal ramifications if he changed his mind later on and did not want to father these potential children? What if she got involved with someone else? How might a future partner feel?
The alternative of using a sperm donor was also not a perfect solution for her. It felt so forced to go through a book a pick some random man. Sure, she could read about his characteristics, his family history, his likes and dislikes. But what would this do to her current relationship? Would it make Alex feel that he wasnt good enough?
Yet another choice was to do nothing to preserve the possibility of having children in the future. Adoption was certainly a alternative as was living a childfree life, but certainly not decisions she thought she would have to make at this point.
Liza, with the support of her family and Alex, went into high gear in gathering information. She contacted <a href="http://www.fertilehope.org"> Fertile Hope</a>, a national organization founded by cyclist, Lance Armstrong. Their mission is to provide reproductive information and support to cancer patients whose medical treatments may cause infertility. Reading the stories of other patients some of whom were not even given the option of fertility preservation because of the type of cancer they had was enormously helpful. Knowing she was not alone, knowing how others had fought and survived, gave her hope for the future.
Ultimately, she and Alex decided to take the risk together and freeze embryos created with her eggs and his sperm. Although this was the right decision for them, clearly it is not the only path one can take. Knowing what is right for you takes deep contemplation and soul-searching. It's important to remember, as you wrestle with life-altering decisions, that there is support "out there" and that you are not alone.
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